Now we are six

Ugh to parenting.

2009-10-24T05:47:00.001-07:00

Middle boys want to go to local soft play centre - a Saturday pootling at home had been planned, but they are bored and restless and in need of something else.
No.1 is having a rough day - full mornings in school for five days have taken their toll and he is in need of (and happy to be) just being in his room building lego and listening to Harry Potter.
Middle boys crushed at once again bowing to No.1's incapacity. They don't resent him, but the resigned acceptance makes me feel really really rubbish.
Bah.

Evil wagon wheels.

2009-10-24T03:27:00.000-07:00

There is a new multi-pack of wagon wheels in the cupboard; they were on offer and it would have been prosecutable by law to leave them on the shelf at that price. But they seem to have extraordinarily loud voices for such well-wrapped biscuits. They seem to know just how long it is since I ate one (about ten years), and are doing a little rustle-shimmy every time I go near the cupboard, trying to lure me in.
Gits.

Four at Bedtime fun.

2009-10-22T20:35:00.000-07:00

The biggest problem with four children? The juggling. For instance - bed time tonight. C's in studio working, so bedtime was all mine. Which 99 times out of a 100 will be easy, fine and dandy. Today Jolly came home from school with nasty high temperature - and Pink has been in a manky mood all afternoon.
So 7pm rolls around, and the routine commenced - first off from the blocks was Pink - bathed, storied, bedded happily - until I leave the room, when she starts to moan. Not proper crying, just a nasal, half-hearted aaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-aaah that goes on and on and on. And on.

Eventually gave in, and went to her. just had her lying quietly and stroking her back when Jolly started calling me. On High Sick Alert I dumped her and ran to him.
Whilst settling him (no sick, just headache) No.1 started shuffling to the bathroom and playing the Victorian-lady-in-a-decline drama. I realised he had sopping wet hair from the bath, so whisked him off for a hairdrying session (whilst giving him a stern too-old-for-dramatics-perfectly-capable-of-drying-own-hair talking to). He flounced off in a temper as Boy appeared asking for his hair to be driedis kicking up with mucho gusto.
Then no.1 reappeared sheepishly requesting a hot water bottle.
At which Poorly-Jolly called he'd quite like one too....
I flounced and huffed in a grandly adult way and No.1 flounced back to bed in high dudgeon.
Two hot water bottles later (talking to Pink in sing song voice from downstairs assuring her mummy may be back some time before midnight), and Jolly is settled, and No.1's room is in darkness as he has sulkily decided that though I had said 'Get To Bed' he had heard 'Go, Get out, Leap into bed, Switch off all lights, Sleep instantly and do NOT let me see you again till morning'.
Long chat with The Drama Queen No.1 ensued, and grumpiness resolved into pleasant good nights - finally leave him reading quietly.
Returned to Jolly ( noticing on way that Boy is still listening to his mp3), and he didn't want his hot water bottle after all (grrr) - but his temp is climbing, so prolly good thing. Settled down sadly to try and sleep.
By this time Boy has thought better of himself and decided that with the mood Mummy is now in he'll err on the side of caution and whisper a sweet goodnight after packing himself up promptly.
Pink is now silent, so am not going to go investigate in case she starts up again.

Why do they always do it on the nights C's working?

AND I haven't cleaned the kitchen yet, can hear the debris from four children's pizza making laughing at me from here.

sigh.

Hating the potty...

2009-09-05T07:48:00.000-07:00

So Pink hates the potty. She has perfect control - we don't have accidents, not at all.
But.
Try and get her to actually wee on the potty or toilet?
Not a hope. She hasn't had a nappy on since she got up this morning. She has drunk two full beakers of pure orange juice (necessary for the constipation which is a story for another post). And still she hops from foot to foot, clutches herself, squeaks for a nappy - but magically the wee is 'all gone' as soon as she is forced/bribed/tricked into sitting on the potty. We've been on potty watch, playing this merry little potty-on-potty-off dance for the last two hours. I have two Waybuloo stickers of my own for successful wee trips to the toilet. Big brother has read countless stories whilst she sits on the potty. We have watched unending back-to-back Spongebob and Waybuloo.

Sit she'll unwillingly do. But she point-blank refuses to go.

How long can she possibly last? Am I damaging her forever by not giving in? Will I damage her forever if I do? Will I ever get anything else achieved today?

Sigh.

Can I swap her for a blue one please? They were far easier to train...

A Very Good Day

2009-08-31T01:33:00.001-07:00

Spent the morning drinking coffee with the man, and slow-roasting a shoulder of lamb with all the trimmings. Family lunch with the inlaws - the lamb with peas, home-grown carrots, french beans, perfect (huzzah!) roasties, and onion sauce (too thin) followed by apricot and apple crumble, custard (too think) and ice cream (not mine).
Then a peaceful coffee whilst Bumpa was nabbed by Pink, No.1 whisked Gangy off to his room to admire the latest Lego creation (spaceship with docking port and holding bay in case you were wondering), Boy and Jolly disappeared into the garden with a Big Plan in their eyes... so I sat down with my book and my coffee. Marvellous!
Then we played Junior Monopoly, two rounds of Tell Me (one hilarious one with Boy as adjudicator - "I am NOT going on until you all pay attention".. "I sanybody actually LISTENING to me?", a small freeforall boys wrestling session, sleeping tigers, cushion islands in shark infested waters, and Freeze! (which was supposedly a nice quiet winding-down game but turned into a riotous noise-fest which had to be abandoned due to hysterical giggling. And that was just the parents and grandparents.).

Crumpets for tea, and a quiet post-children evening discussing Life with the in laws. Happy Rainy Day Sunday.

Grrrowl

2009-01-05T02:37:00.000-08:00

Have been busy, and forgot all about this lovely little blog. But instead of feeling the pressure and guilt of all the catchups, I'll do them as and when necessary, importing from other places - and just keep right on posting, jumping right in form where we're at.

So. Where are we?
Me - 35. married since I was *just* 18 to the same man. Four children. Love to read, love to write, love to walk and talk and laugh. Love Life.

C - photographer, friend and comedian. Love him.

No.1 - 10 year old son, diagnosed with ME (or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome this year). Amazing, bright boy (no, really, officially Gifted and Talented, they tell me), unbelievably clever at lego modelling and creating stop motions - and equally unbelievable talent at talking non-stop for very long periods of time on Very Dull things.

Boy - middle son, aged 8, stringbean with tin ribs, never stops moving, loves to run, dance, sing, jump and be happy. Clown of the family, utterly passionate in all he does, wears his heart on his sleeve, life is lived at headlong pace, moral compass is physically attached to Magnetic North, our own Enid Blyton 1940's boy. Just makes the world a better place.

Jolly - youngest son, 6 - soft, sensitive, loud, liquid giggle, likes nothing more than cars, soldiers, playmobile knights and his family. Lives in a cloud; inside the daydreams is a very sharp brain, we are told. But difficult to know for sure through the fluffiness. Contented like a cat whenever he is held, but one of life's worriers.

Pink. The Girl, 2 - and headstrong, wilful, opinionated and the princess of the family. Charms all who meet her, very very bright, sparky, meltingly beautiful when she smiles... and totally adored.

There. Enough for today - Tea and sunshine needed.

mmmmmmmmmm.....

2008-08-20T02:53:00.000-07:00

My man did bring me a bar of the new Cadburys Cranberry & Granola. Anyone else in love yet?
yumyumyumyumyum...
And no. You can't. Go buy your own. It's all mine mine mine.

rottweilers and children.

2008-08-15T02:47:00.000-07:00

What would your instant reaction be if I said we were considering getting a rottweiler puppy? And in addition to that question, do you/have you owned a dog?

First off, don't misunderstood me, we're in no way novice dog owners thinking a rottie would be 'way cool' for a pet. We have looked at many many breeds of dogs (did you know the most common dogbite injury in the UK is caused by a labrador?), and we just keep coming back to the rottweiler.
We have waited for two years since Holly died, considering when/if/how would be a good time for a new dog. We both adore rottweilers, and actually contrary to popular perception, they are one of the best family pets you can have. IF you're prepared to cope with the size and demands of a giant, sensitive and highly intelligent breed of course. As for having the time - thats half the point. To MAKE us take time away form the puter, to get us outside and walking. Taint no way you can ignore a rottie in need of some attention!

I think people fall into three camps - we have yet to speak to someone who has owned a rott themselves who doesn't say 'best dog we have EVER had'. Those who know 'of' a rott tend to cautiously say 'they're okay, but...'. And those who have no personal experience of them tend to suck their teeth in horror and try to persuade us that a lab would be far more suitable!

We're not idiots, and not rushing into anything. Our reasons are many and varied, and as long as we know we're going into dog-ownership (breed is irrelevant for the main decision) responsibly, the choice of breed is down to our own desires, really. However, having already had two friends pretty much say that if we get one, they won't bring their children to come and stay, we did wonder if that would be a common reaction.

We're also not stupid enough to buy one cheap from some random stranger on epupz, nor to get a rescue '2nd-hand' dog the way we always have before. We've already discounted quite a few simply because they're already 14-16 weeks, and we want one as young as possible straight from its Mum. We're in no rush, like i say it was just interesting to see what reactions people had! Me I can't think of anything more wonderful - but I can see who the sheer size can put many people off, let alone the sad and scary crap press created by stupid ignorant owners.
Have had such mixed reactions, am curious to see what the split is!

Night Time Adventure

2008-07-28T02:14:00.000-07:00

10 o clock. All children sleeping peacefully, night is warm and still.
So.. We woke them all up
Hauled them out of bed (Cam confused but willing, Joe decidedly unwilling, Toby just baffled, Ella unruffled and rather pleased), plopped them into jeans and t-shirts and bunged them in the car. Took them on an exciting night time drive, all the windows down, seeing what we could see (lotsa moths, one fox, two mice, one hedgehog, and most exciting of all a beautiful pair of barn owls, one of which ghosted along beside us, swooping in and out of the headlights just in front of the car till it was joined by its mate and they finally veered away for some uninterrupted hunting). Made it to Win Green (large hill top, open chalk downland with 360 degree view) after about half an hour, and we all tumbled out - absolutely STUNNING night. Millions of stars, light enough to see each other, not a breath of wind. And off we went - hunting glow worms. :D
Just a special night it was. we spent an hour up there, counted 15 glow worms - which was a little disappointing for C and I, its been truly spectacular in the past but we have never done it with the children and we're a bit late in the season, so they were thrilled. Joe lost his croc, Toby stood in horse poo, Ella was enthralled at escaping into the darkness (the starlight was strong enough to see her by so we didn't need to hang on to her), and everyone got to hold a glow worm.
Truly magic it was.
We got home just after midnight, and are all alittle jaded today - but it was SO worth it, am glad we acted on our impulse and just took them.

Week 17

2006-12-08T02:19:00.000-08:00

Busy few weeks. School holidays have launched themselves upon us again, pitted directly against C’s busiest time of year. We’ve been trying a balancing act, working like mad for a few days/nights a week, then takinga few days off with the boys to go do fun stuff. Has worked pretty well – except the house looks like a troll has moved in and rampaged with this years dirty laundry.

Why is sorting the laundry always bottom of my to do pile?

have taken myself in hand this week, having finally - FINALLY – found a little energy. The sickness is still occurring when I’m tired, I still can’t face any dairy except really strong cheddar, I still can’t manage more than two well-spaced-out very strong small cups of tea a day. I’m expanding, but not a pretty bump way, just in a fat-girl-gets-fatter way.

Have purchased a Lateral thigh trainer. Swimming pool is just too far to realistically assume I’ll make it more than once a week at tops. A stepping machine in the playroom which I canuse every day for ten minutes is far more attainable. Am worried about my weight this time – more so than the cholestasis. Though am worried about that too.

But have so far pretty well avoided the pregnancy worry thing. I’m sure it’ll come!

Still not feeling many movements very often, so have to presume the placenta is growing nicely. Have our next scan the day the boys go back to school, so will need ot move it (note to self – get on and move it instead of moving the reminder post-it around the desk).

Boobs still expanding gracefully, a little tender, but looking magnificent!

There may be trouble...

2006-11-09T02:16:00.000-08:00

ahe-e-e-ad… In the House of Mamafour.
Baby plum has a new need. Strong cheddar sandwiches for lunch are no longer enough, apparently. No no no. Plum needs a stack of raw onion in there too.
MMMmmmmm.
There’s just one teensy problem with this though. It’s a little known factoid that for some reason, I am hugely sensitive to raw onion, and get horrendous onion breath from just one nibble. honest. the diced bits in a Big Mac are enough to set my breath a-stinking.
Yesterday I did spoil myself with two enormous doorstops of cheese and onion. But of course the Head Honcho wasn’t home. He eyed me in a worried fashion when I told him last night about this lovely new sandwich I’ve discovered. Asked me if it was a real craving, in mildly concerned tones.
Lunchtime today and he appears behind me as I’m slicing the onion.
Doesn’t say a word – though he watches me enjoying every last crumbful a little too closely. Within ten minutes I noticed him wincing whenever I’m close.
I retire to the bathroom for a little brushing, scrubbing, gargling and the like.
Half an hour ago I re-eneterd the house, smelloing sweet and fresh as a daisy. But its returning. I can taste it.
What to do? Do I withhold the longing and stay clear of the onion, sticking to my usual and non-offensive tomato accompaniment? Or do I risk marital discord and chomp my way through half an onion a day?
Unless anyone knows a cure for onion breath of course.

just won't go away.

2006-11-06T02:29:00.000-08:00

That feeling. Sore boobs. Soooo sore. Familiarly sore.

Odd feelings too.

But I had a massive period at the end of May. Scary big one. So no way i can be pregnant.

If only the boobs would settle down.

Scan dates.

2006-11-05T02:26:00.000-08:00

Have a scan booked for Friday 30th June.

By my dates of the last bleed, I reckon I’m 5 weeks gone.

BUt the way I’m feeling suggests more 8 or 9 weeks… we shall see.

20 weeks scan

2006-09-06T02:18:00.000-07:00

was today!

We discussed boys names all the way there. Carefully skirted the ’shall we/shan’t we ask the sex’ issue entirely.
Walking in, we decided to wait and see how we felt once in the room (big planners, you see. Weeks of agnosing, and we finally decide to leave it to a spur of the moment decision).
So.

Sonographer was lovely.
Had me turning this way and that so she could see all angles.
Finally decided, after much nodding and winking and prodding between us, to raise the issue of whether she could tell what colour.
And…
Plum…
Is…

Still purple!!!
Cos she was working through the depth of the placenta AND ‘a little extra padding’ as she put it, the picture was really murky and gloomy. She struggled to see all the points she needed to measure (all fine, btw, everything present and correct), and there was no way she could tell the colour.
So it was decided for us in the end.
So we’ll have to wait!

Boy is 5!

2006-08-17T02:19:00.000-07:00

Middle Man’s birthday on 17th. Quite how he made it to five when I wasn’t looking I’m not sure, but there he is, lanky legs looking far too scarily long for my tricky toddler to be wearing them.

Had firends staying a party with a bouncy castle in the garden in the afternoon – the sun blessed us with an uinexpected visit which allowed the waterslide up for a while. Hedgehog cake was a hit, presents were a hit, party was a success…I felt very domestic and proud.

Nuchal Scan

2006-08-10T02:24:00.000-07:00

Still expected to have the sonographer say ‘nooo, there’s been some mistake, there’s not really a baby here’.

But it was there, waving and kicking and being unco-operative. When she finally managed to get it to move so she could take the measurements, the risks of Downs etc are utterly minimal, so all well. Got a picture this time – will post when manage to get the new scanner working. Lovely, fuzzy warm feeling watching our baby move around. We’re having a BABY!!!!!!

Ugh

2006-08-09T02:17:00.000-07:00

Feel sick.
Horribly.
Might have something to do with the FOUR Kipling bakewell tarts I’ve just polished off.
And don’t start, Baby plum NEEDED them, alright?

Baby plum

2006-07-19T02:23:00.000-07:00

Had a film night with the older two boys, all piled on the sofa together. They began talking about the baby, and No.1 was concerned that we were calling it ‘it’.

‘its our baby, it should have anice name, not just ‘it’.

‘Okay, what? Fred? Mungo?’

Both boys laughed.

‘No’ continued No.1 ’something nice, but not for a boy or a girl, cos we don’t know what it is yet. How about… Plum?’ (we had been looking at baby books last week to find out how big our baby was, and it was the size of a plum, a fact that he obviously liked!).

‘Plum’s great, I like it! Baby Plum!’

‘Noooo!’ said Boy. ‘This is OUR baby, and its not going to be a plum, its going to be beautiful, and needs a beautiful name. Beautiful Sky.’ the 4 year old with the heart of a poet.

‘Sky is a little girly, poppet. How about Beautiful plum?’

Both boys consider it.

‘Yes’ they nod their agreemenet. ‘thats nice.’

So beautiful plum it is. And muchos kissing Plum gets from its big brothers, too.

Don't want to jinx it but...

2006-07-18T02:24:00.000-07:00

Tea is back on the menu, Spots have miraculously stopped appearing, I sudeenly have enough energy to do the laundry… Have i turned a corner? Am starting to actually feel better!
Had first midwife appointment on Friday – she couldn’t hear the heartbeat, but heard the placenta, and two definite kicks.
She was a bit of a nightmare, kept not listening and disagreeing with my dates (then finally admitting i was right!), and saying i didn’t need al the pamphlet bumph on breastfeeding workshops and stuff – then handing them all to me two minutes later… But still, i now have my white folder of notes, and feel ‘officially’ pregnant!

Hassle booking me in for the nuchal scan – apparently I’m ‘too late’ at gone 13 weeks, as they have no free appointments for another couple of weeks. Costs them muchos squids ot send me to another hospital, and no one had the authority to nbook an out-of-hours appointment. The mw said she’ll call me on Monday.

14 weeks - Plum moves!

2006-07-16T02:23:00.000-07:00

In the house alone (did a stupid thing, started watching ‘Most Haunted’. Am now hiding in the office with all the lights in the house on, after creeping round shutting all the downstairs windows. Will I ever learn?).
Anyhoo, sat on my stool, all hunched over… and…
I felt the baby wriggle!
Honest!

The sonographer said the placenta was forming at the front, like it did with Jolly, so am prepared for feeling very little movement till gone 20 weeks. But if i curl up so i squish the poor child up, I can definitely feel an indignant wriggle .
Ohh, the relief. Have had a couple of bad fretting days, you know, lots of ‘what-am-I-DOING’ moments.
But now I feel all cheesy again!

Bleurgh...

2006-07-13T02:25:00.000-07:00

Is it bedtime yet???

I’m being pathetic and pitiful, actually. I haven’t even actually been sick. Just felt queasy and tired all day.
Don’t mind me – I’ve got no right to moan

I’m heading towards the end of the 13th week now… and I feel Crappety-crap today! I have a fine batch of spots on my chin, my hair is lank, my legs are filled with some kind of slow-moving heavy metal, I’m travel sick just sitting at my puter , Its too hot in the sun, but I’m chilly inside, I can’t drink tea, the smell of coffee today offends me…

The Scan

2006-06-30T02:25:00.000-07:00

So, all boys in their respective school/nursery places, C and I trundled off to hospital in the MG. Gorgeous summers day, perfect for pootling the lanes.

Normal hospital visit nightmare with parking, but we managed to finally find a space and get in with 5 minutes to spare. Funny, the first time we went for a scan with Cam, we were clutching the letter, unsure where to go, nervously whispering like a pair of teenagers. This time we strolled straight in chatting about the summer holidays, not even conferring where we needed to go. Been here a few times before!

So we went in when called, and i hopped up on the bed. The sonographer asked a few questions, and we explained that whilst now happy with the pregnancy, we were unsure about dates. Going by the last bleed, we should be 5 weeks or so, but I was a little concerned that the bleed may well ahve been a missed miscarriage, and there would be no baby. At best, we were expecting to see a fuzzy baked bean shape, probably not even a heartbeat yet.

We stared anxiously at the screen, suddenly nervous, watching the fuzzy static that was apparently my insides.

A thick white line appeared, and the sonographer smiled ‘well, there’s definitely someone home’.

Relief flooded my face with a smile, too.

‘And there’s the heartbeat’

‘pardon?’ I excclaimed ‘there shouldn’t be a heartbeat yet, should there?’

‘no, but if I just do this…’ she swung the wand round to a different angle, and there it was. A baby. No fuzzy baked bean at all. Arms, legs, heart blinking away…

‘erm… I’m no expert but thats no 5 week old baby, is it?’

‘ha ha ha, no, not at all. I’m guessing nearer double that.’

I looked at C, and I guess his look mirrored my own – shocked amazement. How did that happen?

The soongrapher did her measuring thing, and then had a really good look round my uterus, as she was concerned by the heavy bleed I’d had. But all appeared find and dandy. The small one was measuring 10 weeks, 6 days, giving me a due date of 21st January. I’d only been pregnant 5 days, and I was nearly 3 months gone!!!

All felt decidedly unreal – I was still acclimatising to the fact of being pregnant again, being suddenly this far along was a bit to much to take in all at once.

My birthday!!!

2006-06-29T02:26:00.000-07:00

29th June 2006 - I’m 32 years old. And pregnant with my fourth child!

I had a lie in bed while C got up with the boys. They brought me a pile of presents and cards, then he took them to school whilst i loafed in bed, and drank tea.

Managed to move to the patio in time for C’s return form the school/nursery run, and he made us some croissants and coffee. Once I’d filled myself with pastry, I made it to the lounger, where I spent the morning in the shade.. lounging.

We went out for a lovely pootle in the car, and stopped for lunch in an nice village pub. Then back ot the lounger for some more loafing and reading whilst C did the afternoon pick-ups.

Then we spent the evening in the cinema watching X-Men III.

so. we're pregnant. Again.

2006-06-28T02:27:00.000-07:00

For 24 hours we panicked, to be honest. We have three beautiful boys, and I have finally adjusted to never being pregnant again. I never thought I could cope with more children in the house, but so loved being pregnant that saying goodbye to that part of my life was very hard.

But we’ve left the baby stage – Toby is 3½ now, he can put on his own shoes, wears no nappies, feeds himself.. life was starting to take a different, more adventurous turn.

Our house is big enough, we can pretty much afford a new baby… but our biggest fear was that fact that we have no time for the boys as it is with both businesses. And they would be the ones to suffer lack of my attention with a new baby in the house. And they have to be our first priority.

Plus, with my history of obstetric cholestasis, there is always a risk to the baby to consider, not to mention the amount of time the last trimester will take up with tests and hospital visits.

We saw the doctor to discuss all our options. He was sweet, kind, and gave us the number of a ‘pregnancy in crisis’ counselling centre. He also arranged for a quick scan to find out how far along we were.

It was about 20 minutes after we got home that C looked at me, grinned, and said ‘let's have it.’

How my heart expanded with love for my man at that moment! Until that instant, I didn’t know what to do. But as soon as he said it, I realised that there had never really been any question.

Besides, we have 3 already – whats one more, right?

27th June

2006-06-27T11:18:00.000-07:00

We visited the GP. Heads were in a spin, to be honest. we were happy with our family. Three boys are enough for anyone, surely? We had made it out the other side of the baby stage, and were starting to plan some holidays and things. Starting to enjoy a measure of freedom again.
Yes, we have room. yes we have the finances. But time... we stretch ourselves so thin as it is. Two businesses, three boys, we simply don't have the TIME for a new baby. And if we keep it are we being selfish? What impact will that have on our time with our other boys? How will they feel when their already limited Mummy & Daddy time is swiped by a small one?

Well... Bugger.

2006-06-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

26th June 2006
Well, see, I had this niggly feeling. It wouldn't go away, no matter how long i left it. My boobs hurt. I was soooooo tired. I had enough spots to rival any unwashed 15 yr old boy. I felt... different. But in an all-too-familiar way.

So. I finally trotted off to the chemist, and got me a couple of white sticks. It was 4.30 in the afternoon, the boys were home from school, C was catching up with them all in the lounge. So i thought I'd give it a go, just to put my mind at rest.
Wee.
Leave it for 3 minutes... wandered off, came back in 2.
Checked.
Two blue lines. TWO???
Bugger. Buggerbuggerbuggger.
Looks like we're hvaing a fourth baby after all then.

Two weeks later

2006-06-20T02:29:00.000-07:00

And still the boobs hurt.

And now we have the added bonus of having gone off my morning tea. And so damn tired all the time. And the spots! I feel like I’m 15 again… only worse, because I never had spots when I was 15.

But I had a period 3 weeks ago, and I haven’t missed a pill, so I’m fine. I’m due on this weekend, that's all it is.

Bugger.

2006-05-25T02:28:00.000-07:00

No period – even though i’ve waited 5 days for it.

Boobs still hurt.

Toothpaste foam is making me gag.

Off to the chemist later.